Jack had ‘slumbered’ long enough. The winter had come and gone, discontentment had faded. Now, he thought, now would be a good time. He checked the water levels outside, high, but safe, for the time being. All he needed now was a beer and cash injection. So he summoned the energy and a spare dollar and headed off to Bennetts, the local hostelry of frequent adoption, the evening spread before him like a carpet of misplaced promises. What trouble could possibly ensue?
Jack travelled down to London, Excel Centre for the Future Of Web Apps 2 day conference. On day 1 he met several ‘heros’ and ‘heroines’ of the IT podcasting world.
Jack had come prepared with a 6 way power supply which certainly would come in useful. He sat down at the back with the other Lappies, no sockets, no problem, ‘Here!’, he said, ‘6 way!’. He pulled out the 6 way from his napsack, and the grappling effect of the plug duly pulled out his underwear and deposited them on the conference floor, bugger, note to Jack ‘Buy new, modern pants’.
Pictures (not of pants) to follow.
The last leg of the journey was not uneventful. A sheep had fallen into the river and was unable to extract itself. The poor thing must have been in the river for some time as it was weak, mouth quivering, and was making feeble attempts to get out. Jack struggled for a few minutes trying to help it to get out itself, but in the end he’d had to grab the woolly beast firmly on both sides of its head and pull hard, at first nothing, then as its front legs made the lip of the river bank the beast slipped out of the river and between Jack’s legs in a motion not dissimilar to being born, its rear legs came out flat behind it, quite a funny sight. Shakily it got to its legs, fell over several times but then let out a loud BAAAAA and started eating grass.
Jack made it to Evesham and met the man in charge. He felt a little apprehensive about explaining his plans for the The Black Tie, he needn’t have been, the guy really seemed to be on-board with everything even offering parking for guests. Jack could see that the journey was far from over, in fact it was only just beginning…
Today Jack drifted into Tewkesbury, a town recently flooded, a town cut off on all sides by the floods, an island within AN ISLAND, is there a name for such a shape he idly wondered?
The lock-keeper showed him the level the water reached; The roof of his hut! It still seems hard to believe that the water could be SO high, he is in a raised position above the lock!
Jack’s wages from CSI arrive on Friday so further progress was halted till then as he had to obtain a different license for the next leg. So for the next three days he will enjoy all that Tewkesbury island has to offer.
No Starbucks so no free wifi. McDonalds? Jack guessed there wasn’t one as he hadn’t yet seen the great Tits of America. Jack wouldn’t starve though, he still remembered how to skin a rat.
Doctor Foster went to Gloucester, so it is said. Either there were a lot of sick people in Gloucester in need of medical attention or he was a psychiatrist, either way he was obviously no bloody good.
When Jack got back to his boat (3.5 mile hike) this time something was wrong, different. That was it! The boat was facing the opposite way. Jack soon found out that the heavy rains that re-visited Gloucester had loosened the mooring pins and with the strong winds, more dangerous than currents, had untethered The Black Tie and she had swung out into the canal. Canal officials had rescued her before she was lost in the murky murk, but had to moor her the best way they could. “Next time tie her to the metal railing”. ‘Okay’.
Jack moved the boat further into town a few hundred yards from a pub. Got sozzled, woke up back on the boat in his armchair at 4am with chicken kebab down his front and on the floor. He certainly knew how to throw a party for one.
This evening he said ‘goodbye’ to Gloucester. Cast off, entered the Docks and navigated through the main lock and out onto The Severn again. This is the part of the Severn that suffered so badly from the recent flooding. The lock keeper had said “All the pubs are closed along The Severn”, Jack wondered what sobriety was like, and could reality be as bad as people say it is, only time would tell as the journey progressed and the river came back into focus.
Moored up, Jack went home to Sue for a week.
The state of his mind had come into question several times on this journey, now the jury was in, it was Florida.
