The Black Tie

Winter draws on

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:03:58 +0100

Jack had ‘slumbered’ long enough. The winter had come and gone, discontentment had faded. Now, he thought, now would be a good time. He checked the water levels outside, high, but safe, for the time being. All he needed now was a beer and cash injection. So he summoned the energy and a spare dollar and headed off to Bennetts, the local hostelry of frequent adoption, the evening spread before him like a carpet of misplaced promises. What trouble could possibly ensue?

Jack finds IT's pants

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:08:01 +0100

Jack travelled down to London, Excel Centre for the Future Of Web Apps 2 day conference. On day 1 he met several ‘heros’ and ‘heroines’ of the IT podcasting world.

Jack had come prepared with a 6 way power supply which certainly would come in useful. He sat down at the back with the other Lappies, no sockets, no problem, ‘Here!’, he said, ‘6 way!’. He pulled out the 6 way from his napsack, and the grappling effect of the plug duly pulled out his underwear and deposited them on the conference floor, bugger, note to Jack ‘Buy new, modern pants’.

Pictures (not of pants) to follow.

Final Rusting Place

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 01:49:41 +0100

The last leg of the journey was not uneventful. A sheep had fallen into the river and was unable to extract itself. The poor thing must have been in the river for some time as it was weak, mouth quivering, and was making feeble attempts to get out. Jack struggled for a few minutes trying to help it to get out itself, but in the end he’d had to grab the woolly beast firmly on both sides of its head and pull hard, at first nothing, then as its front legs made the lip of the river bank the beast slipped out of the river and between Jack’s legs in a motion not dissimilar to being born, its rear legs came out flat behind it, quite a funny sight. Shakily it got to its legs, fell over several times but then let out a loud BAAAAA and started eating grass.

Jack made it to Evesham and met the man in charge. He felt a little apprehensive about explaining his plans for the The Black Tie, he needn’t have been, the guy really seemed to be on-board with everything even offering parking for guests. Jack could see that the journey was far from over, in fact it was only just beginning…

Black Tie Event 6 Photos CLICK HERE

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 01:23:31 +0100

Black Tie Event 6 Photos CLICK HERE

Cut off

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:50:10 +0100

Today Jack drifted into Tewkesbury, a town recently flooded, a town cut off on all sides by the floods, an island within AN ISLAND, is there a name for such a shape he idly wondered?

The lock-keeper showed him the level the water reached; The roof of his hut! It still seems hard to believe that the water could be SO high, he is in a raised position above the lock!

Jack’s wages from CSI arrive on Friday so further progress was halted till then as he had to obtain a different license for the next leg. So for the next three days he will enjoy all that Tewkesbury island has to offer.

No Starbucks so no free wifi. McDonalds? Jack guessed there wasn’t one as he hadn’t yet seen the great Tits of America. Jack wouldn’t starve though, he still remembered how to skin a rat.

Click Here to access all photos

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 18:20:04 +0100

Click Here to access all photos

When Reality Nearly Sinks

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 09:42:35 +0100

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester, so it is said. Either there were a lot of sick people in Gloucester in need of medical attention or he was a psychiatrist, either way he was obviously no bloody good.

When Jack got back to his boat (3.5 mile hike) this time something was wrong, different. That was it! The boat was facing the opposite way. Jack soon found out that the heavy rains that re-visited Gloucester had loosened the mooring pins and with the strong winds, more dangerous than currents, had untethered The Black Tie and she had swung out into the canal. Canal officials had rescued her before she was lost in the murky murk, but had to moor her the best way they could. “Next time tie her to the metal railing”. ‘Okay’.

Jack moved the boat further into town a few hundred yards from a pub. Got sozzled, woke up back on the boat in his armchair at 4am with chicken kebab down his front and on the floor. He certainly knew how to throw a party for one.

This evening he said ‘goodbye’ to Gloucester. Cast off, entered the Docks and navigated through the main lock and out onto The Severn again. This is the part of the Severn that suffered so badly from the recent flooding. The lock keeper had said “All the pubs are closed along The Severn”, Jack wondered what sobriety was like, and could reality be as bad as people say it is, only time would tell as the journey progressed and the river came back into focus.

Gloucester

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 17:03:34 +0100

Moored up, Jack went home to Sue for a week.

The state of his mind had come into question several times on this journey, now the jury was in, it was Florida.

5th Photo Set

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:18:38 +0100

5th Photo Set

Location, location, location. Sims Lane.

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 21:29:52 +0100

Location, location, location. Sims Lane.

Portishead to Gloucester

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 21:21:41 +0100

The answer to the photo question. In the lock at Portishead the walls were wet yet the path was dry, the whole pathway rises with the lock water!

Jack had a Pilot to navigate the tricky waters from Portishead to the Sharpness canal, this was costly yet necessary. Jack was a little perturbed that the water was less choppy than some canals he’d seen, but at least the guy knew where he was going.

Entering Sharpness looked the the entrance to District 13 (film), but the canal was lovely. Lots of swing bridges over roads, but these were all manned.

Moored up just outside Gloucester, see next link for map location.

4th Photo Set

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 20:53:17 +0100

4th Photo Set

Travellin' Jack

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 20:51:19 +0100

Jack liked free. Free coffee, free parking, free Nelson Mandela, but travelling thru Bristol promised to be costly if he didn’t get his metamorphic skates on. So he took leave of absence from CSI and blasted into Bristol. Got himself a ‘lock-out’ time (because of the extreme tides they only allow craft out at certain times) and headed out on the Avon down to Avonmouth then hung a left on the Bristol channel down to Portishead where Jack ‘locked-in’. Later that evening Jack looked out beyond the lock gate where he’d entered earlier, all the water had gone! There was just sand up to the lock door, the tidal water drops 10 m !!

lic

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 14:13:24 +0100

lic

Idyl

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 14:11:51 +0100

Idyl

Bath's best kept secret

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 14:10:19 +0100

Jack had stumbled over an idyllic mooring location. It seemed strange that no one else was moored here when he arrived, but he got confirmation that he could stay for up to 14 days, why would people mess about with the official 48/72 hr moorings around Bath when this little peach was available?

The only caveat was to leave some room for a disabled mooring. Done!

See the next pictures link for more. Fourth batch forthcoming.

Born Identity

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 13:35:14 +0100

Jack’s girlfriend’s daughter had announced we were now in a state of emerge[H[H[H[H[Hpregnancy. Congratulations had been received from the medical profession who openly expressed their joy at the prospect of more future income. In Jack’s inner eye he imagined that somewhere a little tax inspector was rubbing his grubby hands in glee. All Jack knew about birth was it came before taxes and death, the evil trinity.

In Jack’s world he dealt with computers and evil-doers usually both combined. Jack also thought simple was sometimes better, safer, nobody ever got a virus from papyrus.

4-abreast

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 08:11:40 +0100

4-abreast

Four-abreast

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 08:10:45 +0100

Jack’s buddy Ian had disappeared some years ago whilst freefall mountain biking. Ian and 3 of his stunt team had bunny hopped out of a cargo plane at 20,000 feet, that was the last anyone saw of the bobbing quartet. At last their fate was revealed.

Dihydrogen Oxide is a killer.

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:43:49 +0100

Dihydrogen oxide kills thousands of people every year, more than Blowfish Fugu. Dihydrogen oxide is widely used as a fire extinguishment agent. Even more important than that, it is a vital and indispensable solvent for life processes yet it can be fatal when experienced in sufficient quantities under unfortunate circumstances.

Anyhow, water (H2O) was the main factor in the delay to Jack’s voyage, trains were disrupted, towns were cut off, homes destroyed, yet fortunately Jack’s boat was spared from the rising waters being moored on the canal system in Bath in a raised location.

Jack had made the journey back to the boat Sunday, he had to make a 3 mile round trip in order to turn the boat around, it was on this mini-trip that he made a disturbing discovery.